I forgave him.

Okay so long story short... my SO cheated on me with one of our aquantances. We separated... then he begged for forgiveness... and I forgave him. There are days when I feel like I really forgave him and there's those downer days where I hate him for it. I love him I really do, but sometimes I feel like I need to cheat on him so I can feel better, and not be the only idiot who was cheated on... TIA