Social media conundrum

I just found out my SO has a girl on his facebook that he was once messing around with. I noticed when she liked one of the posts he was tagged in. Never noticed she was on there still and when I brought it up to him he made it seem like it was no big deal. I told him I was uncomfortable with it. She's the girl he was with before me and when we had been dating about 6 months I found messages from them two. He was trying to get her to sleep with him a month into our relationship. It was a big thing then, he apologized profusely and I forgave him since our relationship was so new at that time. I had forgotten about it... until now.

Now I'm insecure again. Why does she need to be on his facebook when we could've potentially broken up over her? He acted like I was foolish for being hurt over this. Yes, he deleted her, but we didn't even talk about why I felt the way I did about it. He always wants me to not bottle shit up so when I tell him how I feel he makes me feel stupid. Why bother bringing it up if I'm just gonna stew in my anger and heartache anyway?

So we were silent for over an hour and I decided to just go to bed. No kiss or I love you. He came in shortly after and still didn't try to talk to me and went to sleep. He let me go to sleep hurt. Once he drifted off like a baby, I grabbed my pillow and went to the couch.

So here I am at 4am, just woke up an hour ago and ugly cried for 20 minutes because my dreams are so vivid that I can't sleep. All I can think about is him letting me go to bed with my heart hurting and whether or not he did actually cheat on me in the beginning. Or if he cheated while at his friend's bachelor party last weekend. I'm feeling very insecure now and I wouldn't have started stewing in all this bullshit if he'd just talked to me!

I feel foolish yet justified. I'm 5 months pregnant, sleeping on the couch with an aching heart while he sleeps like a fucking baby! These hormones are going to be the death of me! I feel like my heart is breaking apart. 😭😭