I've found three needles and two straws over the last year on my husband. He won't admit to me that he has a problem and if I push it at all he only gets angry and goes off on me. Ive wanted to trust him so much but now I just feel like an idiot. He sleeps too much, he's always tired, he's been fired from three jobs in the last year and almost lost his current one this week. He always 'works late'. He has anger issues and frequently loses his temper on me for small things, then apologizes later. We never have any money despite him working so hard. I'm due with our child any day now and I can't do this without him. I don't think I can turn to my family for help as my father is a higher up for child protection services. I feel so stupid for believing him all this time but I've never been around drugs before. I don't want to push him away from him or remove him from our child. I sincerely love this man and only want him to get better. I hurts so much that he won't speak to me about it, that he won't admit he has a problem. I know that I can't make him get better, or make him choose to get better. I feel so helpless and scared. I'm 21 and I don't think I can support this baby on my own nor do I want her to grow up without her father around. I sincerely think if I remove myself and the baby from he will kill himself.

Update. The needle I found this morning was unused. He left it on the table where I put it after finding it and went to work. I came back to it a minute ago because I was going to break the tip off and it was used, so he shot up right before work.

U2. I understand that shooting up is not recreational. I am devastated. He said he would be home 6 and a half hours ago so we could talk but apparently he had higher priorities. I am devastated. This man is my best friend and I've put all of my trust into him. If he isn't willing to seek help then I don't see how staying could be an option. My sister lives an hour away and I know she'll give me a place to stay if I am in need. Thank you for your advice and support.

U3. He got home and still denied it was his or that he was using. He offered to take a drug test in front of me so thats what he'll be doing when he gets home from work tonight.