I dated this asshole who slept in bed with his ex and hed say shit like id never hurt you and of course i love you and then hed sleep in bed with his ex, hang out with her behind my back (id find out because other girls told me), hed put me down in front of his mom and then hed call me names and say i didnt deserve better. He didnt want me going to school, having female friends even though im straight and doing anything to work and make more than 40k a year (which im sorry isnt very much money at all). So after everything i ended up fucking hospitalized, almost homeless and now hes trying to put me in a situation where i have no family support and am probably once again in the fucking street, living in the domestic violence shelter with scabies in my arm or fucking looking to work full time at a titty bar. Ive already gone to domestic violence counseling 2x at the shelter in the past ten years and ive been to rape counseling on and off in the past 11 years. I regret waking up after the last time i got black out drunk in 2010 and i fucking hate myself for being constantly inconvenienced by someone who pretty much told me i wasnt worth a shit and couldnt do better that wanted me fat and ugly and told me to fucking gain weight and then complained i got stretch marks because his ex had them on her ass and he hated this other chick that had saggy dd titties. So after we broke up he fucked with me because he could get away with it and now im in a position where i cant do shit and im fucking stuck with him having other people stalk me. Fucking hate how he told me i wasnt worthy of better treatment and even though he knew i had been treated badly, all i ever get is put down. Ive been cheated on so many times in the past and now im going to be stuck with the fucking car the rest of my life probably poor, with no family and no boyfriends or friends. My ex got mad that i gained weight, so i lost it and then his female friend who he treated as more of a best friend than me fucking trolled me online and put me down and even though we are broken up he said im not allowed to take weight loss pills or be smaller than a medium which is bullshit. Then he got mad i went back to school and conspired to ruin me, then he got mad i got a new car because i didnt want to worry about repairs when he called me a loser for not having a car. Then he fucking got mad i want to go to a 4 year college instead of miller motte. So i dont know what to do at this point. Ill be 30 in under 3 years with nothing to show for it when he ruined my life and he even had the nerve to do bullshit like put pictures of him and his ex girlfriend from when they dated in a "best friends" frame. One dude at the hospital told me hed hate to be in my position. Its bullshit because my best female friend from ny who stopped talking to him because she couldnt handle the damage he caused me would say karma, when ive been used and abused all my life. I fucking dont even know what to say anymore. Fucking never going to go to school or do anything now because he destroyed me and ruined my life, my body and my brain. So what the fuck else am i going to do with myself except down a fucking half bottle of vodka? He makes fun of me and has people telling me to enjoy being with the cat the rest of my life and my friends been saying i wont be able to drive tomorrow. I really just want to get a fucking gun and blow my brains out because i cant even rebuild my life anymore. I dont have a boyfriend and i dont even want to meet anyone. All i ever get is treated like shit. And its fucked up because all i ever get is laughed at for being abused. I fucking worked at a cheese steak place where were supposed to support domestic violence victims and then i was the only girl that worked in the kitchen that fucking never went out on one date, never took photos with a boyfriend or anything. To piss me off when i did date him the asshole let his ex go on his facebook and upload their couples pic of when they dated as his default and he wouldnt upload a picture of him and i even though we had dated for at least 2 months at that point. Its fucking bullshit. My gay friends dont even know what to say at this point both bryan and dillon have had it with him.