Trying after a miscarriage

My husband and I are recently married, but have been together for 5.5 years. I have twins from a previous relationship and he has a son from a previous relationship. We decided to start trying earlier this year so I went off both control in Jan. We tried for the first time in April and got pregnant right away. We got married in May and lost our little one in June, about 9 weeks (baby stopped growing at 5 weeks). I am a very realistic person and knew what was happening long before it was confirmed by a doctor (almost a week later). It was an awful wait and one that I took pretty well according to my doctor. She warned me that about two weeks after, it would hit me like a shit ton of bricks and it did. We have been trying for the last few months and every time I get my period (twice now), it's heartbreaking. I have this overwhelming fear that if we do get pregnant again, the joy and excitement of pregnancy will not be the same. I am afraid I'll be a constant mess and just want to know if this is a normal feeling? Do you think once we get past twenty weeks (if we get pregnant again), I will be able to have some relief from my fears?