So me and my best guy friend have been friends for around 9 or 10 years now and a while back, couple of months, we were at a party of a mutual friend. I had one drink he had 3 or so, he was acting normal. And he wanted to hook up(make out not sex, in this case) and I have never done anything like this so I was very nervous and declined. He 100% understood and respected my decision, also apologized for asking. And this was around 5 months ago, and it literally drives me crazy 24/7. In the past months there are some days where I think my decision was reasonable because he recently ended a pretty serious relationship and he was obviously still hung up on her, now he isnt. But there are other days where I feel as though I should have done it. He told me that if/when I feel up to it the offer still stands, and I don't think it will ruin our friendship that is not the problem. The problem is I'm not sure if my feelings are more than friendly or not. And I don't want to do this and then want something more, and he doesn't. But I don't know if I want something more. Some days I just want to drive to his house and tell him how I feel and just grab him and do it and leave and other days I don't really know how to feel or how I feel. If you have ANY helpful advice pls.