Hi ladies,

I'm in need of some encouragement, advice, and prayers. I am 37+5 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby girl and the father of the child just revealed to me that he stepped out on our relationship.

We've been through alot in this last year alone. We lost our first in November of last year due to cervical incompetence, fell pregnant soon after in January of this year, and I was advised to go on bedrest in May to ensure a safe full term pregnancy. As a result, I reluctantly stepped away from a job I was actually in the midst of being promoted in, we placed our dog in a home that could care for her until after I delivered, we moved closer to family for support, and hes taken on the financial load.

To start, we differ in work ethics.. where I enjoy being busy and am willing to work the long hours, he absolutely hates it working and won't do more than the minimum. As many people that have encouraged me to take doctors orders and chill out for the remainder of the pregnancy, his refusal to go the extra mile to ensure the baby has what she needs until I am able to share the load like usual has made it hard for me to feel like I can depend on him to take the reigns on the family when I am down.

After losing our first, things were just supposed to be different. But even after, he hasnt wanted to make this pregnancy a positive experience for either of us out of fear that we'd go through another tramatic loss. No milestone celebrations, no maternity photoshoot, no nursery, no baby shower, and any talk about what she will need has been pushed off. Instead, he focuses on how everything affects just him. Hes great making sure bills are taken care of but then puts the extra money and his energy into going out with the guys and not getting in until sun is up, drinking often, and playing his game from the time he gets home until bedtime. After we decided we were ready to go through with this, even with it being so soon, I took the risk of putting my career to the side to do this. I've tried to stay positive and be supportive but couldn't help but become bitter and distasteful with how things have been going.

It's been months with this being the dynamic and atmosphere of our relationship, and now with it just being days away of her coming, he reveals that he's cheated to me. I feel sick to my stomach, humiliated, betrayed, and I don't know what to do. I know I can't be with him, but I don't plan to keep him from being apart of her life. I feel like he robbed me of making the most of this time because hes made it all about him. Now to top it all off, I don't even have the mental capacity to be excited for her to come. It has been a long time coming but I just can't believe that with all that we've gone through to get here, he would ruin us. I'm broken to a point of no return during a time I should be preparing to meet my baby girl. I don't want to bring her to into this world like this but I just don't know what to do.