I have always always always been ridiculously insecure about myself, my weight and simply anything having to do with ME. I've tried to build myself to self love but even when I was at my thinnest (5'3 & 105 lbs), I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. So you can only imagine how I am now, being 5'3 and 135. This is an almost 3-4 year difference and a lot has to do with college and nursing school. There was a while between this where I got into working out but eventually I began experiencing bad anxiety that debilitated me (before this I had never even experienced anxiety or knew what it was). It was devastating and I'm still learning to live with it. I've learned to manage it on my own and grow from it rather than bring me down. But now, here I am, still really upset at my own reflection. I'm now officially a nurse learning to deal with the night schedule. And trying to balance my social life and my relationship with my boyfriend. Now, despite the fact I don't like my body I'm trying to learn to self love, and with this I feel like my motivation to work out will come. However, my biggest pet peeve at the moment is my family constantly telling me to do something. My sister recently began getting really into the gym and she now weighs way less than me despite being 4 years older. I had always been really thin so I'm constantly getting the "but if you don't like yourself, why don't you do something about it?" Or the "you should work around your schedule to find the time to work out" or when I sleep in a little due to my intense schedule, I get the "you shouldn't sleep in that much, why don't you go for a run?". All in all, I understand their intentions are good, but this doesn't help with the way I'm feeling about myself. And when they say these things it simply discourages me of doing anything and ultimately I look in the mirror even less. They're right, I should work out. And once I get used to my new lifestyle with work, I feel like I'll try to push myself to do so. But for now, I don't know what to do or feel. If they're right and I'm wrong or viceversa.