I just wish someone would tell me if I'll ever have a baby or not. We've been trying for over two years and between a messed up period, having a miscarriage and just it not happening I would just love to know if it's ever gonna happen!

I'll be 32 in a few months so I'm not getting any younger, I've saved money to buy baby things and to support me when I'm on may leave and have even bought a few baby things.

I want my life back but I just don't know when to throw in the towel especially when I have this nagging suspicion that it will never happen.

But instead I continue paying for opk kits every month, taking femara and buying pregnancy tests and stop drinking wine at social events because this month might be the month.

Honestly I want to take all the money I've saved and go on vacation, head some place nice and escape from all this heart ache and move on with my life.

But instead I keeping buying those tests and taking my medications. And keep crying over everyone else having babies and thinking "that will never happen to me".