i feel hopeless

i don't want to get out of bed anymore, i have no means to carry on at this point. im too scared to get help. im young and where i live this type of issue gets you nothing but a bad reputation especially in my school. i struggled to make it through eleventh grade and i dont think the way I am and the messed up things I'm doing to myself are gonna get me through my senior year. this is just a vent, I'm not looking for help anymore