My boyfriend and I just recently got into a big argument. Short story short, I was in an emotionally and sexually abusive relationship with my ex (let's call him Ass).

On February 11th, he came to my house (not inside, just in front of the driveway) to pick up money. We talked, but one thing lead to another and we kissed, multiple times.

After that, I felt dirty and guilty because I was talking to my current boyfriend when this happened, and I hated that I couldnt say no to Ass.

It was an impulse, a horrible and sick impulse.

On February 14, I was 100% that my current boyfriend was who I wanted to be with. So I asked him out.

I never told him what happened because I was so embarrassed and guilty that I even had the balls to do that.

He recently found out, not by me, and was really hurt. He said he didn't understand why I would kiss him when he did all those things to me and treated me like shit, and quite honestly, I dont know why I couldnt say no either. Ive never said no to Ass like that before and by impulse I did it.

My current boyfriend told me that it was in the past and he couldn't do anything about it, but that I had to control my impulses because he didn't want my mind to be controlled by the heat of the moment, and I agree.

Does anyone have any good tips on controlling impulses? Please I need help, does anyone know how I can be better at controlling them? Please 😔 He's the love of my life, and I don't want to lose him