I have come to terms that I'll be single for a long time after my ex husband who abused me made me leave while pregnant

I live alone with my 7 month old son, I have social anxiety and hate going out in public now.

I have no friends, my family hardly ever see me and throughout the day I have no one to talk to

No one can babysit so I've never had a day off to treat myself , not even an afternoon of shopping. So it's been me doing everything for my baby and now I feel drained

I'm sat here always crying, feeling worthless and alone. Blaming myself for how I was abused and I don't dare tell anyone how I'm feeling because they won't care.

My depression is getting worse I keep thinking of "what ifs" but even now I know that's just me living in a fantasy world

What do I do?