My anxiety has been getting worse throughout the years. It's at the point where I can't even get together with a friend without combing through every single word I said, trying to analyze whether I offended someone or they hate me. If I get a text asking to go to dinner, I have a full on breakdown because I get so nervous I'm going to be over or under dressed, or offend them by accident.

If I have a coffee date planned, I don't sleep for a week because I'm petrified I'm going to offend them or unknowningly make a faux paid m. I know everyone acts different depending on what situation they're in, but it's to the point where I can't sleep unless I have nothing on my calendar for the foreseeable future. Which never happens because socializing is a part of life.

I think part of the problem is I grew up poor and isolated, so I didn't get a lot of training in how to dress and act. My parents weren't very well liked and were always having problems with the neighborhood. I moved far away from that, but that feeling of being hated stayed with me.

I'm reluctant to go to a psychiatrist because I don't want them to think I'm making these symptoms up to get meds just so I can get high. My marriage is suffering or else I'd never get help. My husband gets annoyed that I can't sleep and it keeps him up because I'm up all night beating myself up over something I said days ago.

Right now I'm sitting here with my stomach in knots. We had a great day of bowling, brunch, went for a hike, and all I did all day was berate myself for "saying the wrong thing" the night before at a wedding.