Im 17, i feel like up until now, my life was a series of misfortunate events. when i was 5, my parents filed for bankruptcy and we had to move out of our dream home. When i was 7, my mom was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. i had no choice but to grow up. once my mom was better with the cancer and was cancer free she broke her ankle and had to have 4 surgeries since the chemotherapy left her bones very fragile. my mom always struggled with mental illnesses but ever since that she's been worse and it kills me. i love my mom so much but she emotionally abuses me. no matter what i do, im never good enough. her and my older sister who's 9 years older than me always had fights because of my sister's decision to not go to church anymore. my mom is very religious. i tried going to church for my mom but it wasn't for me. she found out i started smoking weed (which i don't anymore after a night where i got laced weed and almost died). my older sister is more like the mother figure to me but when she moved out i felt like i was abandoned. we lived in New Jersey for so many years and then one day my parents decided to move to Florida. My brother was living with my sister but then he dropped out of college and is now living with us but he doesn't do anything and it scares me. i'm so concerned for him. since january all he does is stay in his room and help around the house. he hasn't gotten a job or anything. my dad was willing to pay for college and my brother let the opportunity pass up. My dad paid for him to take tests to be a coast guard but one problem which could be resolved with a call could help but my brother didn't do anything about it. i hate seeing him like this. my brother was always the weird smart kid in school. never had any friends. i cry so much because i wish he wasn't the way he is because what's going to happen when my parents die? he can't be supported financially by them when they're gone. i currently work at a restaurant and with my dad when i'm on break or before work. i also go to school. i barely have time for myself. i get out of school at 10:20 then come back home depending what time my shift starts and right when i get home i work for my dad. my dad's an accountant and he always has a bunch of deadlines. he's always pressuring me to get things done and it just sucks. every guy i've been with and let them sleep with me ends up leaving. even the one that i thought who would never did. i'm just so done with all these unfaithful relationships and friendships. i did one mistake which wasn't even that big and it costed me my whole reputation when it wasn't even my fault and no one knows the whole story since i moved to florida right after it happened. i just want to disappear. there really isn't anything for me here. i just don't know what to do. 💔