Struggling

It's been a year and 6 days since I lost my baby, it was also my first pregnancy. Everyone kept telling me it would get easier/better, now I've come to realise they were saying that because they just didn't know what to say, because it's not got/getting any easier it's just getting harder.

My baby would have been 6 months old on the 20th of this month, it's like my brain has a timer set for that day each month.

Right now I'm really struggling. I started spotting on the 3/9/16 and when I had my womb checked they said everything looked fine and that it was closed etc and they took swabs and told me to come back the next day for a scan and sent me on my way.

The next 24 hours dragged and when I got there they couldn't see it on the belly scan so they had to do an internal one and they told me they couldn't find a heart beat and could only see the sac, I was totally heart broken and then on the 7/9/16 is when it actually came out and I started bleeding properly.

It's been a full year now and it's worse than ever, I cry all the time at almost anything and everything and I'm just down all the time and I don't know what to do anymore because I hate talking to people.

I just wondered if anyone could help me with some advise I'm really struggling right now.