To divorce or not to divorce

Toxic relationships are easy to spot when you're not in them. I've been told repeatedly by friends, family, counselors, even people I barely know that my marriage is extremely toxic. But I don't know if it truly is. I see the man I love and chose to marry, I see a future for us, and hopefully one day a rainbow baby. But along with that we've only been married 6 months now, and it's felt like Hell living with him. Within the first month, what should've been a honeymoon phase, everything shifted. After the first week in out new home we had a permanent roommate (his gay best friend), who didn't pay rent or for his own food. My husband told me I killed our baby when I had a miscarriage. He told me I wasn't attractive because I'm too fat (140lbs) and ugly so there's no point in us having sex. He told me I'm too emotional and should go in the kitchen and slit my wrists and be done with life. All of this within the first month of living together. To some of the situations I was too shocked to even speak up for myself, i.e. When he told me to kill myself. Other situations, being called fat, I spoke up for myself and told him it was hurtful to hear him speak to me that and to please not do it again. Neither way seemed to help. He claims now that looking back he was just joking with me on those things and that it's my fault I got hurt by his words because I took them personal. He has continued to say much of the same things for the past couple of months, including threats to hit me but no action on such, only within the last month has he started to be nice to me. But the damage is done and I'm not sure I can fully trust him again.

We've gone to marriage counseling and tried to accept advice from different friends and family, but he still doesn't accept his fault in this. He won't listen to the counselors and gets upset when I'm honest with them. Instead he believes and often manages to convince me that it's just my fault, that I'm too sensitive. But part of me thinks maybe all the outside perspectives are right and that this is toxic for me to be in.

Now I am at a complete loss of what to do. I walked into this marriage believing that no matter what we would work through everything together. But now I can help but revert to my pessimistic way of thinking and wonder if this is something I should forgive and try to let go of, or if I should stand up for myself and leave before it gets worse.

What do y'all think?