Having a child is amazing ... I love him so much. staring at him feeding him just being there for him .. having the love of his father there his support and people from the family to support you along the way ... pregnancy was amazing I loved it even the sickness and heartburn. All worth it. But one thing that's mentioned but never really spoke about in Dept is the aftermath. The emotional toll. How much you change after the birth of a child. Yes you hear the "you will cry" and the "sleepless nights" the "harmonal Inbalance". But that's not hard. What's hard is understanding why. why do we feel this way? Why am I crying when I look at the man I love ..feeling overwhelmed with joy and hurt... for no reason. It does but a toll on us females. Yes it's a monster. A monster named postpartum. It's alot more then just a bad day. It's something that makes you feel like you have a lump in your throat and a hole in your heart...for no reason. but you feel loved and you love your child...looking at the fruits of your labor and ... it's hard. but I sadly am one of those. I know what I'm facing this awful monster that is trying to take my happiness.. I won't let it win and I feel like others out there need to know they aren't alone. ..But to take it day by day. with prayer