advice please!!

I know this will probably sound crazy but I have no One to talk to. I broke up with my boy friend of 5 years I have a total of 7 kids which 2 are his. He keeps begging to come back he is playing on my emotions because I do love him. on one hand I know I am making the right desicion on the other I am afraid I am making a huge mistake. it wasn't the greatest relationship but we did have good times however he keeps lying about everything he continues talking to other women he was emotional abusive manipulative and at times could be physically abusive. I am 33 with 7 kids and I am so terrified of being alone. i know on so many levels how rediculus this must sound I just need someone advice he has been apart of my life for a long time I am getting older although my children are happy about the desicion I feel for mine and his kids. Please no hurtful comments I just need some advice or support. Thank you