Do you ever feel ...

Been trying to conceive for some months now and sometimes I think maybe it's a sign I'm not meant to have another baby ... had a chemical in July. Been of birth control since April. This is the first baby that I'm actually tracking and "trying". My other two were "surprises" we had kind of just said if it happens if happens and didn't pay attention to ovulation and tracking, etc. I've always wanted three and my oldest is asking for "another baby brother or sister bc she loves her sister so much" I dunno sometimes I'm like ... maybe it's not meant to be?