had my annual in Sept 2016, and evening checked out fine. decided in Oct to go off birth control, but not actively try until it had been a few months. officially started trying Jan 1. everything regular and fine except a monthly frustration when I expected joy. had this year's annual in the middle of cycle 10 and received all kinds of bad news

a. doctor announced she was leaving the practice to spend more time with family. understandable and heartbreaking. been with her longer than I've been with my husband, and she's always been a wonderful doctor.

b. she said we can be aggressive now if we wanted to in our fertility journey. wrote orders for my blood work valid for 6mo, knowing that she wouldn't be available to interpret after Oct 1

c. she ordered an immediate ultrasound because she felt something on my back wall. suspected fibroid so she wanted it checked asap

I decided to just jump on everything. had my u/s completed and my CD21 labs drawn last week. period on time *sigh* so today is CD3 of #11 - more blood draws for this girl.

I also got my initial results yesterday and was devastated again. I have 3 fibroids, and the largest (the one she felt) is huge. uterus is 10.5 cm, fibroid is 8 cm. she also noted my TSH was 3.75, normal but higher than ideal for optimal fertility. she recommended consulting a specialist to discuss options, which might include surgery and medication. I am not a fan of either

I am still trying to process all this stuff and feeling absolutely defeated. I've cried to my husband and mom. I've yelled at god and my body. I'm tired of this rollercoaster, and I thought we were coming to the last dip finally. again, I'm wrong, lost and overwhelmed. when all I wanted was for this one thing in my life to just be simple