Repeat c-section

So my last c-section was an emergency one due to placental abruption which resulted in stillbirth😭 I am 2 1/2 months away from delivery and I have to have another c-section and I am completely terrified. Last time I was just wanting it over and all they did was put a catheter in and gas mask on me to put me out. I'm so ready to meet my lil guy but I'm scared of being awake this time. Is there anyway to calm/prepare myself for what may happen during prep and surgery?