For moms who CAN breastfeed, what goes into the decision to do so in your home?

I am currently expecting my fourth child. I have breast-fed for at least a year for all three others and I am not sure if I can handle the added stress that it causes again.

It is difficult because most of my kids did not want to take bottles despite being offered from day one… So no one else could feed my kids, finding a babysitter caused issues for the same reasons.

I’m thinking about using formula this time around... but I’m torn.

I know if I choose to nurse, it will give my child antibodies and help them health wise, I know it helps in a million other ways that I won’t get into because I’m not trying to cause the age old “which is better” debate.

But emotionally I struggle with depression surrounding my pregnancy (currently trying not to be put on medication but know it’s in the near future) and I feel guilty that I just want my body back. I wasn’t trying to conceive, and though I’m thrilled to be expecting, I’m concerned that I didn’t have any time between weaning my last child and conceiving this one and emotionally that’s draining for me. I’ll be getting my tubes tied (or some other permanent measure) after this baby arrives.

Am I being selfish because I miss having my body as my own? Quite possibly... I haven had a break in 7 years. I’ve either been pregnant or nursing nearly the entire time (with a few months in between usually)

Has anyone gone through this? What did you choose? Did you regret it?