Boyfriend issues....

I’m 19 and I kissed another guy other than my boyfriend. We have been fighting constantly. He shut me out emotionally for over a year and it took me almost breaking up with him for him to realize that something was wrong. Everyone is telling me to break up with him but I can’t help but hold on to him. He’s my first serious relationship and has been there through everything. I love him so much but I just don’t know if I’m happy or if I wanna be with him anymore. Any advice?