I cry. Every day. I not only cry I ball my eyes out. Ugly tears. Hyperventilating breaths. Uncontrollable sobs. I make myself sick to my stomach every day because I cry. So hard. Alone. Usually in a bathroom behind closed doors. All by myself. I cry for the baby I'll never meet. I cry for the brother or sister madison and Charlie will never play with. I cry for the son or daughter I'll never hold. I cry for the loneliness I feel. I cry for going through this alone. I cry. Every day. I'm alone in this. And I cry. Every day.