depression and staying home..

emma • musician & mua

So I have severe depression and anxiety. It’s gotten really bad again and I have problems even getting out of bed when it’s this bad. School has been in for about 7 weeks and I’ve already missed 9 days. All of my absences are excused so they don’t matter but I keep lying to my mom telling her I’m sick because I don’t have the heart to tell her how bad I’m hurting. Only 3 of the days were from me being actually sick. I have straight A’s because I work really hard to keep my grades up but I have literally only made it to school an entire week one time. I know it’s bad but my depression is so much worse and I can’t stop crying when it’s bad. I just tell my mom I have a migraine and go back to bed. I feel bad for it but I cant help it. 😭 How do I continue to deal with this? I can’t keep missing school so much but my depression and anxiety is so bad. I keep having panic attacks and it’s just getting worse. I posted something similar to this before and everyone told me to “man up” and “grow a pair” but it’s not as easy as it sounds.