Okay first part - I've been with my SO for a year now. We've known each other for quite some time. The dilemma is I keep getting this nagging feeling that him having a child will be a deal breaker. I've spoke to my best friend and my cousins - they said that's not the case it's purely because the mother of his child hates me and is still in love with him. He just moved into his new place and I stayed for the first night with his daughter there. The mother said that I was disrespectful and crossing boundaries and she wants me nowhere near her child. He's a great father. He has his daughter about 75% of the time. But it's just so heartbreaking because she is using the daughter to keep us apart and it is just driving a bigger wedge between the two of us and he fails to acknowledge it. Another thing regarding children his mother doesn't want us to have any. She said she has enough grandchildren. He said she was joking but usually when people make a joke it's some truth behind it. Her comment really hurt and he said what she says shouldn't matter or bother me but it does. In her eyes and on his side of the family my child will be nothing but "another" or a number.....

Second part - he doesn't think that saying I love you is necessary. We've NEVER said it. He tells me how much he cares for me and appreciates me. And he's said things like "know that you're loved and appreciated ". But apart me is confused and conflicted on why it bothers me so. I won't say it because I'm terrified that he won't feel the way I do. He says actions speak louder than words so it's not necessary. I should know how he feels by the way he treats me and though that may be true isn't that assuming???

Thoughts ?