IVF Newbie

We’ve been trying for a little over two years. We’ve gotten pregnant naturally twice. The first one ended at 18 weeks when we learned that he had no kidneys. The second time we found out at the 11 week appt. that the baby had died at 8 weeks. We are at the beginning of the IVF journey now and I feel awful. I know I should be excited but all I feel is sad and angry and scared. How do I embrace this?! Can anyone help?