Mixed Feelings

Mixed feelings. Last month, it was our first month ttc since getting married. Unfortunately, my first ever experience being pregnant ended up being a chemical pregnancy. It sucked. That is pretty much the only way to sum it up. I told my husband, he was super great about it. I spent alot of time reading and researching a CP. I went from being on glow 5x a day too once to log. I avoided it at all cost. Today starts my ovulation week for October. We ofcourse got right back on the saddle, but I am still terrified. I tested an insane amount last month, I almost became obsessed with it. This month, I am going to not even test at all until either 1 day before AF is to arrive or not even at all unless its late... Hard to explain how I am feeling. I know its very common let alone with first pregnancies, I know its a 50-75% chance every women experiences this. I guess I am interested in hearing some other women with a simular story.. how are you doing now? have you gotten your BFP since? Or have you continue to struggle?