Am I wrong?

Question

So me and my ex girlfriend are still friends. We were together for a little over 2 1/2 years and continue to talk till this day. We have a good friendship and she lives in a different state than I do. The other day we were talking and she told me she needed surgery done in December, I asked her if she would like me to go out there to be with her. She has no one out by her that will take care of her. I told my boyfriend about it, and I asked him if he would mind if I went out there to be there for her and he told me “I don’t care, do what you want.” He’s given me nothing but attitude and has barely talked to me. I’ve asked him countless times if he’s upset, so I can try and talk to him but he refuses. I want to be there for a friend, not for an ex. He knows I have no feelings for her whatsoever. Is he overreacting or am I being insensitive? It would be different if we stopped talking after we broke up and this was random, but we’ve maintained a friendship. 
I already know this post will be filled with women bashing me and talking shit and telling me I’m a bad gf or whatever, but save it. If your comment isn’t constructive to say the least keep it to yourself, honestly. 
Thank you in advanced ✨

Answer

If your boyfriend wanted to go visit an ex how would you feel? I'm not trying to  be a jerk I promise, but you do need to try to see his side of things. Maybe talk to him and explain that you are with HIM now and you LOVE that, but that your friendships are still very important to you.

Answer

I think you’re being insensitive and underestimating his feelings. He may tolerate your friendship with your ex. You going to stay there may be a bit too much. Your boundaries may be different than his. Your supposed to be a team. You should consider his feelings on this one, unless he’s otherwise controlling. I wouldn’t be comfortable with my SO going to another state to care for an ex. You sound very empathetic and as if you have good intentions. I think you both need to talk this through vulnerably. My SO is regularly insensitive. He just doesn’t get it. He’s not a bad person. I have to spell out my feelings and/or boundaries. And plenty of times we have to compromise in order to respect one another.

Answer

Not gonna bash. Just saying the whole ex thing can be really complicated and cause insecurities in your SO. He probably is afraid that time spent with her in person will rekindle feelings and jeopardize your guys’ relationship. It doesn’t matter how many times my husband would tell me he had no feelings for his ex, still makes me uncomfortable for him to talk to her at all. So even if your convinced there’s nothing there, he’s not and I don’t think you should go if he’s feeling that way. Your current relationship should be more important to you than a friendship regardless of the history.

Answer

He's mad because you want to go see your ex. Just cuz she's a girl doesn't make it different than if it was a dude.

Answer

This is kind of a just a response to the people saying you’re wrong for being friends with your ex. I agree with still having a friendship with them in cases like yours. Especially if they’ve helped you with so much. I mean there is history there. Relationships should be built on more than just sex and meaningless I love you’s. The foundation should be a friendship to begin with. To just throw that away when things don’t work out romantically, is kind of sad. 
With that being said, I can understand why he would feel uneasy. He’s not overreacting he’s probably just worried something could rekindle. But the key is for him to trust you and for you to open up and explain to him you deserve his trust and he has no reason to think you would do anything to hurt him.

Answer

I honestly think your boyfriend is overreacting you have every right to go up there and be there for your friend i mean after all you did stay friends with the girl after you two broke up so there’s nothing wrong with you being there to take care of her after surgery and your boyfriend should be supportive of that

Answer

unless you have a child with your ex you shouldn't have them be in your life anymore specially when you have moved on to another. it's disrespectful period.

Answer

Reading all of your responses to the other comments, it sounds like you've already decided how you feel about it boo.

Answer

I think you need to explain to him how it's very different with two women. Lesbians are so weird (I know, I am one). A lot of my friends are still best friends with their exes. You just need to explain to your bf how you were good friends with her first and are there for her as a friend. Unless you've given him any reason to be worried, he should understand.

Am I wrong?

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