IUI for the 1st Time...TWW, here we go...

I had my first IUI yesterday morning. It was kind of a surreal experience. Honestly, I felt like I was in a weird version of the Handmaiden’s Tale. It also hurt a bit which I wasn’t expecting since everyone said it was quick and painless. Well, it wasn’t. It felt like I was gutted by a metal rod. Anyone else had that experience?

So a little background about me...I’m 30 yrs. my husband and I have been trying for 22 months. 22 months of disappointment and tears. My husband had some small issues regarding his sperm that has been mostly fixed. He still has a very slight decrease in the percent of his morphology (normal is 4%, he is at 3%). I was checked and get a clean bill of health. My doc allowed us to just try for the IUI the month after the first appointment since we’ve been trying for so long with no apparent infertility issues. I’m grateful but at the same time I’m a little disheartened. I’ve been dreaming of a baby for a very long time and I imagined the process of getting pregnant to be this beautiful, romantic, and love-filled moment between my husband and I. And while he was next to me the entire time and had his hand broken from me squeezing it so hard, the whole thing felt detached and cold. I am praying for a baby and I will be forever grateful if the IUI is successful. I just wished it succeeded the way I imagined.

I am sorry for the novel. I wasn’t planning on this much. I am hoping to connect with some wonderful people here to help go through all this together. I haven’t really told anyone in our family and friends, so I’m really hoping to have someone to talk to.

And good luck and baby dust to everyone going through this this draining process.