UPDATE 2: Tilted Kilt, Hooters, Twin Peaks, etc....

Ok, before I get ripped to shreds for this here’s something I’d like to say: I never put ultimatums or try to control my boyfriend and make it so he can’t go.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. I am 22 and he is 23(he will be 24 in 2 weeks)We are struggling to stay together as our personalities have started to clash. I’ve noticed he is extremely verbal and forthcoming about his attraction to “hot” women.

I will agree I have a few extra pounds I could lose, and I will also agree that I am not drop dead gorgeous, I do however believe I’m not the ugliest girl out there. I am working hard right now to pay off debt and be in a good financial state.

He is an extremely hard working man that runs two of his own businesses. During the day we are away from each other due to us both working, sometimes he doesn’t have work but I still have to go to my job regardless.

About a year or so ago he was going to the tilted kilt at least once a week, if not more, with a friend of his that cheated on his wife and is going through a divorce. I verbally told him I’m extremely uncomfortable with him frequenting a place like that, let alone going with someone who is a shit role model. He agreed that that place is trashy and he would go somewhere else. Up until 3 months ago, he stopped going COMPLETELY.

Recently out of nowhere he has started to go again. Maybe not as frequent but with the same friend. He knows how it makes me feel and yet he continues to disrespect me in this way. I really really don’t want to fight about this anymore as we have already been over all this a year ago.

My question to you ladies is: how are you ok with your man going to places like this? I realize it’s not a strip club but I have been there and seriously you can see their WHOLE outline of their vagina if they bend over (which they do all the time), and their breasts are popping out of their “shirt”. How can I look the other way? Please help me, I don’t want to be an overbearing or controlling partner but I am overwhelmed with emotions over this and don’t know how to be ok with it.

Update:

I cannot go with him. He usually goes for lunch during the day. I work 7-4.

Update 2:

Not sure why it bothers me you guys, if I had a definite answer I wouldn’t be asking for advice, at least I realize I have a problem and am willing to try to do better...We talked tonight... he told me he wants to look, he sees nothing wrong with it and if I do then we shouldn’t be together...