So about last year or so, I found out my dad is cheating on my mom. I don’t know if its in person, or just over the phone/video call. It’s been killing me cause I was able to tell he was suspicious and snappy, and alllll of a sudden all over his phone and shit. It kills me, I love my mom and every day that goes by I feel like I’m hurting her because I know this secret and none of them know I know. We are a very old fashioned Portuguese family, my older sister is married and had her first baby (the first in our family) I don’t want to be the one to break my family apart, I know my dad knows he’s wrong. But the worst part is, he’s cheating on her with other men...... it kills me even more! How can he do that? And still have the decency to lay in bed next to my mom? I highly doubt my mother knows about this, and I know she’d be upset if she found out I knew this whole time. Only myself and my older sister know these details. I’ve found emails, facebook chats (and a whole separate Facebook account under a different name), Skype calls, and tonight I found out he has a grindr account!!! It’s always on my mind and I cry and hurt about it cause I dont know what to do. My younger sister has seen glimpses of nudes on his phone! (We are 31, 22 -me, and 16). Ive sent him an email once saying I know what he’s doing, but I don’t think that gave it away that I know.. I know that he will be so embarrassed and doesn’t want anyone to know about this (because we are so old fashioned) he disgusts me, I hate being around him and he doesn’t get that. This truly changed how I see him. My boyfriend knows I can’t stand my dad, and that I suspect he’s cheating, but only myself and my older sister know it’s with men. My younger sister and my bf think it’s with other women.. I almost went to see a therapist last year around Christmas cause I was so full of anxiety, stress, and bummed out about life. I just need advice on how to approach this without having him blow up on me.

I definitely don’t want to tell my mom, I want him to tell her, and just scare him into putting an end on hurting my family with this ongoing affair. Pls someone help me, I can’t sleep without some advice, please!