An old man kissed me

Yes exactly what the title says.. and it’s eating me up inside.. cause I have a boyfriend of 3 Years . Always been faithful both parts this happen over the summer I told him he tried to kiss me and I resisted. It that’s not what happen. I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT IT. I felt so so scared and violated but now I fee like I’ve done something wrong when I know I haven’t .. I want to tell him the truth but he’s so harsh he won’t understand I froze . And I felt like I couldn’t move.

We had just got a new car and my boyfriend hit a dog (yes I know) it was a minor dent by the door but enough to dent it. So I take it to these Trinidad’s my grandma said worked on cars he was old and friendly he was telling me about his country didn’t think anything of it until he insisted that I looked so sad.. that I had a burden weighing over me and I did I felt so low and really just need some advice . I’m not close with family so someone older to get advice from I was all ears I didn’t think anything of it.. until we talked and talked I even shed some tears it was like free therapy . And I couldn’t wait to tell my boyfriend the wise words I got from an old man we enjoy mentally deep conversation like that . So I though I struck gold.. UNTIL.. it got dark outside and he hadn’t even turned the lights on in the place just lights from the sun setting and I knew my boyfriend was about to call me he usually gets off work around that time so my phone died and it was obviously time to get so I give him a “side hug” different from a whole hug. And he faces me and grabs my shoulder and says “ you will be fine my child everything will be ok” and i smiles using no teeth and shook my head and he gave me a full hug we released the hug and he kissed me and said ok? First thing I thought. Was “ did I just cheat?” And from that thought On my mind left the room and I could feel my lips tighten and he did it again and again and I just held my lips and got out of there so fast !! I spit and whipped my mouth and thought “ wtf that’s how people in other countries do??” Cause he had a full Caribbean accent . My boyfriend wasn’t happy that I let somebody in like that especially a man but he was an old guy my grandpa knew him... I just thought ... I’m not sure what I thought and now I feel like my boyfriend deserves better like I’m so weak and no good.

But I didn’t want that to happen .. I couldn’t move . I couldnt speak . I was just so shocked!! I still haven’t told him that part... what should I do? I asked god to forgive me but my guilt is eating me up but I would NEVER!! intentionally do that to him what the hell is wrong with me..