Does motherhood define you?

Question

I ask this because I was telling a friend of mine last night the idea I had for a maternity shoot. I said I wanted it to be fun and vintage-y and NOT all about the belly.

She came back with, that it will always be about the belly and always about the baby and that I will just have to get used to it. Basically implying that my sense of identity will be lost once our child is born.

I told her I disagreed and that while being a mother will impact my life, it will not define me, nor be the center of my universe. Will my child be important to me? Absolutely! But it will not define who I am.

She is kind of a "know it all" who always has to interject her opinion, whether it is warranted or not... So I blew it off. But now it has me thinking how others might feel.

Thoughts?

Answer

I'm a mother yes but no matter what I will not lose myself because one day my children will leave the nest & they will become their own people. Will I always be a mother? Of course but that doesn't change the fact that I am still a woman & am completely unique individual. If I forget who I was before I became a mother then how will I show my children to be complete whole people?

Answer

When I am home, my daughter is my whole world. Everything I do in a day revolves around her. 
When I am at work, I am focused 100% on my work. 
I think motherhood should somewhat define you, but not consume you.

Answer

Honestly it will define who you are. It will change your perspective on lots of things in life, so I'm not meaning it will define who you are by your a mom and that's it, it will define what kind of person you are and who you want to be and how you live your life from here on out. Your priorities will change and your wants and needs and things like that too.

Answer

You're allowed to have many things that define you. Our children will always take up a lot of our time and energy especially in their younger years but we need to remember that they will one day form an identity of their own and move out to start their own lives. It's an interesting balance that we'll struggle with one time or another. I find it sexist because she would never say things like that about a father of the baby. There is a good video with Jada Pinkett-Smith talking about this. She basically says it's important for our daughters and sons to see us enjoying things we like as well because it makes us better people.

I very much like your idea for your photo shoot. Keep doing things your own way.

Answer

I think it will be a part of you for sure...I think it defines a person...but not in such a negative connotation. More so in, you're a mother, and your child will be the apple of your eye...but that doesn't mean you won't have other parts to you as a human being...and of course, people will know you differently in different settings...to me it's kind of like, I don't define myself by my husband, or my marriage, but I do work on it to be something I am proud of and fall in love with everyday :) but I'm not just a wife, just like I won't be just a mom. I agree with you, but at the same time, I feel like being a mother defines a certain part of your life :)

Answer

You cannot let your life just revolve around your family or you will lose yourself. I know this is why my brother in law is getting a divorce. His wife's whole life revolved around him and the child and she had nothing for herself. You can be your own person and still be a good mother!

Answer

Yes and no. It's a huge part of who you are and for some, it's everything to them. For me it's part of who I am. It's my foundation. It often changes my perspective or decisions. But I am still who I am. I still listen to loud hip hop and dance around. I still go out for martinis (when not pregnant!) with friends sometimes, I still have career goals, I still love fashion. So it changes things but motherhood isn't everything you are.

Answer

I have a 10 yo, a 7 yo, almost 2 yo, and baby #4 in the belly. You are always you. Becoming a mother does not mean that is all you are but rather another facet to who you are. When pregnant and /or you have a baby, yeah 95% of things become about that baby. Not because you become unimportant but how can you grow and nurture this new part of you if you don't allow it to be known and shine through. I'm 29, still young. No old lady here, lol. Being a Mother of 1 child makes a whole world of difference for the person you are becoming. By the time you have more, you realize there is so much more to the world as a whole than what you thought before. You don't necessarily become lost your role and perception changes.

Do things that make you happier because you'll find being a mom is a completely different kind of happy.

Answer

In order for you not to lose yourself once you become a mother you need to remain aware that you can be and are more than just a mom. I speak from experience. I have a 9&8 year old and until recently I had completely lost myself in my role. It's so hard to get yourself back especially because motherhood changes you so much. Just keep trying to do things for your happiness and put yourself first once in a while. That's my plan. Good luck.

Does motherhood define you?

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