Asking for sex

It sucks to have to ask the man you lay next to for sex. every once in a blue moon he may say something to get you in the mood without you having to ask when you are in the mood but its not that way for me. I have to ask for sex. We don't do foreplay. and we barely kiss during sex. somebody help! maybe its my age but ive been with quite a few people in my 26 years of living and 12 years of being sexually active but maybe im not doing the right things. he likes anal but it hurts and it seems like since we can't do anal we have had less sex. we have less sex now living alone compared to how much sex we jad before we got our own apartment and shared an apartment with somebody else