In my mind

In my mind I feel like god didn’t choose for me to have a family. I don’t known if it’s just my opinion of myself or what but I’m scared I will never be able to get pregnant and have my own family. I just honestly really want a family with my man. I feel like we would be really happy with a kid around instead of sitting here doing nothing everyday. I just wish that god would grant me motherhood. I keep trying to get pregnant but for some reason it seems like it’s not going to happen. Before I gained weight almost two years ago I was ovulating a lot but here lately I haven’t noticed the same cm. Should I try and get back to being thinner? Will that help me see that cm again?