Gender Emotional

Before I even start. Keep the negative / obvious comments to yourself 😊 so today I found out my babies gender.. A Boy. 💙 now I’m a first time mom. Due March 18th. I had my heart set on a girl , dreamed about it since me and my bf were like 18 and I had 2 miscarriages prior to this. Yes I thank god my son is healthy alive and growing and I’m allowed to even be his mommy but apart of me keeps crying since earlier today when I found out. I feel deattached nervous and let down. Ima love my son regardless. Ima give him the world and be the best mother I can be. But I can’t help how I feel still ; like all my excitement , joy , anxiousness everything jus was replaced with this big sad cloud and I don’t even wanna tell people now ... & my bf and I have been fighting all day since cus he doesn’t understand why I’m crying or feeling how I feel ... ugh. Nobody understands. It sucks. I jus never pictured me wit a boy. I jus knew I was gone have a girl smh. Completely wrong. But mommy loves you so much anyway 💙