Confession

M'y boyfriend and I have been together for a year now, things get rocky but what relationship doesn't. We have been trying for a baby for maybe 8 months now (I know so soon but we fell hard fast). Sometimes he has a short temper but I just brush it off because he's never hurt me or made me feel like he was going to until tonight. I have been feeling kinda off lately(sore boobs on and off, cramps, feeling nauseas) and maybe im not pregnant and I've just been crappy lately or stress is making me not feel well.

Tonight we got back from a date and everything was great. We went to a movie, had popcorn, giggled and joked during the movie, held hands.

When we got back home I was trying to connect the internet to the PlayStation so it wasn't working and I was getting annoyed. At this point all I've said was "Idk what the hell to do with this it's not working" and he completely flips out and tells me that I need to calm down. I said I am calm you're the one who always freaks and swears over everything.

So I get annoyed and throw the PS4 paddle on the couch and he RUNS up to me and points his finger right in my face and tells me to shut my fucking mouth and to not throw shit in his house. This is the first time I ever thought he was going to hit me. Is it wrong for me to hope im not pregnant for the sake of a baby? He would probably treat me awful when I'm pregnant, possibly hurt me or the baby. At first when he was flipping out I thought it was a joke because he was so aggressive with his words over this? I soon realized it was real, and really scary. I had an anxiety attack soon as he left to go for a drive.

At this point.. I don't know what to do. I feel so sick to my stomach.