I feel like a failure🙁


I know some of it is probably just the hormones, but ughhh. So first of all I had a csection due to a breech baby. Not only am I terrified of surgery, but it was a big slap to the face because I really wanted an all natural delivery. Realising I'll probably never know the pain of child labor actually really hurts me. I guess I just wanted to feel the ultimate sacrifice. (Not that csections don't completely suck, because this recovery has been hell.) Breastfeeding was going good until my milk came in and I started to choke my daughter because in 7 minutes she was getting 2.5 ounces😑 Then I started doing what other people suggested and feeding off the same breast twice to get hind milk, and now it's even worse...now I'm contemplating pumping and bottle feeding because I'm tired of drowning my baby on top of one sesion being an hour+ because she has to unlatch and take a breather. I really love the connection though and don't want to stop. And to top it off I have chosen to rehome my dog to my mom. We live in an apartment with 28 stairs and I can barely get out of bed on my own lead alone walk up and down those things 4 times a day and take care of a new baby while my body is very much in recovery. Did I mention I popped 3 internal stitches 3 days pp??? I know in all honesty my pup is better at my moms where they live on a farm and he can be the hyper rat terrier he is...and it's not like I'm ever going to see him but I FEEL LIKE I HAVE FAILED myself, my daughter, my dog, and my husband. I just want to cry. I'm really just looking for some support, advice, or similar stories. TIA