Too afraid!

I've been spotting since Sunday and it hasn't been very much until later this afternoon and it turned a more reddish color instead of the pinkish brown. I went to the er....I walked in......checked in.....then walked out! I can't go through another miscarriage....I can't have another doctor sit and explain to me the process and what going to happen now. I want this baby more than anything. We've tried for so long wtf is wrong with my freaking body! Ugh I'm so frustrated and angry and heart broken. I just want to pretend like none of it is happening and that everything is just fine....