WARNING VERY LONG

I'll start from the beginning when I noticed the changes, so that way you can understand and maybe help me see something I'm just not seeing here?

A few weeks ago my boyfriend started acting a little different towards me. We still had the great conversations and a lot of fun together, we still were (and still are) very best friends and absolutely love our time together. But... The romantic part of the relationship suddenly came to a complete halt, for no apparent reason at all :(.... and it was only on his end as well.

He still cuddles with me, holds my hand, or has his arm around my waist, he brings me things and is still loving, in an endearing sort of way.

But the more affectionate things came to almost a complete stop even despite my advances. The real, sweet, yummy kisses became just quick pecks to my lips or cheek. The hugs ended more quickly than usual. Cuddling in bed and falling asleep with him became quick cuddles then him turning away from me while laying on his stomach and falling asleep. If i tried to give him a real kiss, he'd keep his lips together so most of the time only a peck was possible, and if i initiated the hug, he'd still make it end quickly. 

Any sexual advances were only made by me, and if I did get him to partake, it was just me giving him a handjob without him really recpricating much pleasure. Theres been a few more similar things but I'll skip ahead for the sake of the length of this post.

CAUTION AS I GO IN TO SLIGHT DETAIL IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH TO BETTER EXPLAIN THE CONTRASTING EMOTIONS. IF 16 OR YOUNGER BE CAUTIOUS OF SEXUAL CONTENT (IM NOT WRITING EROTICA THOUGH I PROMISE)

The most confusing thing happened two nights ago. We were in our bedroom and when I went to give him a kiss, he actually kissed me back,(after almost a month of not having real romantic contact from him it was a great relief, but still confusing), he kissed me and laid me back on the bed, we were actually making out, and I had missed feeling him like that so much. It was bringing a huge rush of emotion in to me, making me feel happy again, feel that love again. 

We ended up undressed, he was on top of me, I was ecstatic and he felt amazing and my god I had missed him so so much, I really do love him with all my heart and it had hurt so much not being able to physically show him/being pushed away from him for trying to.

He was rubbing his tip against my clit, just barely pushing it in to my vagina... but.. I was a bit confused when he didnt go grab a condom like he usually would have. He pressed his body against me and pushed his penis fully inside me, with no condom at all, (dont worry I'm also on the pill). 

THE THING IS, that was the first time we had ever had sex without a condom, the first time I had actually felt his bare penis against my vagina, the very first time I had ever felt purely just him inside me, no condom making plasticy noises or feeling weird. It felt so different for me feeling him inside me without a condom and it felt amazing. We both treat sex very very emotionally, we are very extrmely picky about always making sure we have a condom on.

So him doing this was a surprise, but a good one, i felt so much love for him, so much affection, i felt so connected to him in a way that I can't explain with words, just for the sake of the length once again, it was just absolutely amazing and magical. 

When he did it, I whispered i love you to him, and he said it right back, it was the most sincere ive ever heard him say anything. It was an absolutely beautiful moment that in my mind, made everything better and completely fixed everything that had happened the past month between us.... 

That is till he finished... He said i love you many times and i felt it from him. But the look on his face was extremely worrying. Something was very wrong. He just laid down next to me silent and looking so upset. It took me 10 minutes to get him to say what was bothering him. 

Basically he said: I've felt so guilty after the past few times weve had sex or anything similar. I feel so so guilty and i dont know why. Can we take a break from sexual things for a while?

Mmm :(, of course I said yes, but my heart broke just a little. What I just experienced with him was one of the most powerful things I've felt in my whole life. And it strengthed and confirmed my deep love for him. 

And after a month of no romance. Having the beautiful moment with him, then being told, we wont have that again for a while and its going to go back right to where its been the past month, aah it hurts so much. 

I just dont understand why. Ive asked why and he doesnt know either. I dont know how to feel besides hurt and confused but then in love at the same time :(