Frustrated...hi, I'm Amber

I find myself getting bitter sometimes. I went off BC 9 yrs ago. It seemed to be wreaking havoc more than helping. I've lost weight. I know I ovulate now. Its still not happening. I left my husband a few yrs ago but am with a man now that has 1 daughter. We don't get to see her much. Its impossible for me to just not think about it. I know at every moment where I'm at in my cycle, very in-tune with my body. I've never been pregnant but I suspect some possible chemical pregnancies. I'm having so many symptoms. I'm 4 days til AF. I'll never stop hoping. ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨