Well, basically the love of my life is incarcerated.  Please don't be negative! , but he's going to be gone a pretty long time, and I am in love. He gave me the "go ahead" , "don't put your life on hold for me" blah blah blah, well I'm just not with that. I'm 20 years old, I've been with him for four years in September and we have two kids, he's the only person I've ever had sex with. Not only that I was raised to be loyal to your man ALWAYS. But? Come on wtfffffff, this is bull swanky lol, I can't figure myself out!! I've never had too, that's his job. He knows what to do lol I don't ! Does anyone know of any good toys, any way I can relax myself enough to actually make myself feel good? He's been gone A YEAR.  I'm so frustrated!