So I’ve had a huge crush on this guy (let’s call him D) since the 7th grade and I was never able to get with him bc I was in a shitty relationship for about 3 years and I’m a junior in high school now, so even though through those years D dated a girl that he was head over heels for, they recently broke up and even though I know most guys go back to the girls they’re all about, D has always flirted and tried to make me happy or laugh and ask me how I was and if I was okay and told me I was beautiful almost everyday, I mean how would I not fall for the guy? Not to mention he’s really intelligent and very sweet, genuinely ti everybody.

Well 3 months ago I met this guy (let’s call him J) and he’s made me forget all about my ex boyfriend that was practically mentally abusive, but he also shows me what true love is whether or not we’re in love, idk yet. But I’m infatuated with J and I think I love him. He’s honestly the most sweetest guy but he’s 4 years older than me and that’s sort of a problem. We’re already dating but he doesn’t even live down here anymore and he’s thinking of staying in Chicago for another year. I’ll never get to see him practically but he makes me so happy and I know I shouldn’t just give up on us bc of distance but it is hard. I don’t know if I want D or J, I’m torn between the two. D of course isn’t mentally available I feel since his ex just started dating her ex lmao. Plus me and her have shit between us bc I said some shit to her last year about me being able to get D if I wanted him (Idk why I do shit like that 😂) but anyways I just needed to rant about it bc I lowkey still like D and he flirts with me so much and always tries to get my attention but I never really give him much bc he ignored me for over a year bc of his ex not liking me and I’m still salty over it. Anyways anyone’s opinions or advice would be helpful