Really having negative thoughts when I should be happy and excited 😒

There’s a guy at work I’ve been talking to lately and we seem to really click. I talked to him all day today and it was wonderful. He seems really into learning about what I do (photography) and was asking me tons of questions about what cameras I use, subject matter, etc. it was a really good conversation. And yeah, he’s also slightly flirty ☺️ gives me tons of complements. But they’re good complements, not like “aye nice ass B.” He has told one of the managers he thought I was cute though.

But it’s just always such a big deal in my family when I start seeing someone. For some reason, they’re OBSESSED with me dating someone who’s super religious, and it makes me sick because they haven’t said one word to my brother whose been with his GF for 2 years. She’s not an atheist but she isn’t super religious, which I think is great.

I’m just always the one that has to hear about it. My ex was an atheist and I still to this day haven’t heard the end of it. Granted, he was an asshole about it and said a lot of hurtful things. It’s like IM the one at fault when really, no one is. And anyone else I see, they ask me the same questions over and over. I just don’t think my nerves can handle it if me and this guy were to hit it off. And that pisses me off because I’m the one that has to put my feelings aside JUST so there isn’t an argument. If they start preaching to me about it, I’ll bring up the fact they haven’t said a word to my brother.

Maybe that’s just my negative thinking though. I’m really trying to be positive here. He’s realllllly sweet, and I don’t think he’d be an asshole about it like my ex was. I’m gonna get to know him a little more and see if he mentions it. Just the other night, I was thinking “it sure would be great to meet someone with the same exact views/beliefs as me.” And so far, I think we have the same views on a lot of things. Because here’s the thing, I grew up Christian and I still believe in God, but there’s just certain aspects of Christianity I REFUSE to be on board with. Now, im really only going to church because it makes my grandma happy. She’s getting old and has health problems and I don’t want to give her something else to worry about.

Also, if it turns out he’s not into it, the LAST thing I want to do is change him or force him into it. If I do invite him, I’ll make that clear from the get go. Because I’m not really into it either. But do you think he would at least come with me every now and again, just because? I guess after my ex, I’ve been afraid to invite anyone to church. Now I feel like it’s a bad thing and they’re going to automatically get upset. And really I only want him to come with me because this new leader at church is an asshole and I really don’t want to deal with him alone anymore. Does this make sense? If my family does ask him about it, I guess I could tell him to just smile, nod, and say “yep” to avoid conflict, but that doesn’t seem authentic. I don’t want him out here lying.

I’m horribly over-thinking this whole thing. I’ve only talked to him for a little over a week and I’m this worried about it. And it should be fun and exciting (and it is) but right now I’m just so nervous.