Spouse disagrees on the topic of children...

I'm 25 & my husband is 31. We have been married for 4.5 years & dating for 8.5 years. On our 1st date, I asked him if he wanted more children down the line (he is divorced & has 1 child from that marriage), because I knew I wanted to be a mom someday & I didn't want to waste either our time dating each other if we disagreed. He said he did & has told me the same for 8 years. He has made comments to me like, "you need to hurry up & get pregnant so we can expand our family" frequently.

I'm going to college & we were waiting. I'm getting close to the end of school now & in January told him I'm ready to get off of BC & TTC. We talked & both agreed it is a good time for us, so I stopped taking BC & started prenatal vitamins. Well, my husband is bipolar & he told me last week he isn't sure if he wants kids anymore. He said he goes back & forth about it. I told him I would get back on BC & I set a dr. appointment up for tomorrow. Then he asked me Friday AM, "when is your apt?" & told me I should cancel it because BC is "bad". I talked to him about why he doesn't want me to get back on it & he said because he loves me & he is crazy & stupid, & he DOES want a family with me. He still said he is going back & forth, but he wants kids to make me happy & says he will be happy when it happens.

I am so conflicted. I want more than anything to expand my family with him, but I feel like he should be able to 100% say he wants that too. But with the bipolar disease, he is like this about a ton of things in life. Just looking for any opinions on what you might do in this situation. I feel so heart broken. 💔