I’m insecure because of likes.

I fucking hate my boyfriend! He literally started to like all these Caucasian girls on Instagram. Tall, blonde, slim, colored eyes....I was so furious I got myself a personal trainer and lost 30 pounds. I broke up with him, over that and other stuff. But that was the last straw! I felt so fucking ugly and insecure about myself and body image. I also hated being Hispanic because in my mind I thought to myself white girls are better I guess and I’m just a fat ugly brown skin, old woman. Long story short I never felt pretty. I feel fat and I feel like I’m not ever enough. I started to date him but I feel like I can’t trust or even move on from the way I’ve felt before. We broke up 5 months ago. I’m ok now but I feel this hate towards him and I don’t know why. He’s given me attention and even went out of his way to create a big scene and confessed his love but I feel like he’s going to fuck on me. While we broke up I went back to my fwb because I felt good, he gave me attention like my bf never gave me. Usually when I feel ugly or don’t get the love and attention I need I will go on sex binge. I’m so sad I resort to this. Usually I’ll break up with him so I don’t cheat. But I don’t know what to do. I’ve just decided to date him recently. I’m scared and I think I made a mistake. My emotions are all over the place. Also I’m on my period.