Not myself anymore..

Tomorrow I'll be 37 weeks pregnant. I recently came out of an abusive relationship and he just so happens to be the father of my first child and now second. We have no relationship and he has no relationship with either child. I've been over the moon for this baby the whole time until now. I'm starting to feel really sad about having him. 😔 I absolutely do not want to feel this way as it is selfish but sometimes it's all too much.