should the child who lives in my home all the time get more then stepson who is here every other weekend?

Question

should my son who is here all the time get more gifts for Christmas then my stepson who only comes every other weekend? my son is 3 and my stepson is 9 im feeling guilty because my stepson has about 15 gifts which were more exspensive and my son has about 25 or 30 but cheaper things. my stepson doesn't play with toys anymore only stays on his tablet and I had a hard time shopping for him he can't even tell me one thing he wants. He is getting a tv a new tablet and an electric scooter and about 10 other smaller gifts....but should he get as much all the time as my son even though he gets gifts at home too?

Accepted Answer

I think you should spend about the same amount of money. If that gets your step son less gifts that’s okay. They are more expensive as you said. It shouldn’t matter who you see more.

Answer

15, 25 and 30 gifts sound like a relatively lavish Christmas. No one should say a word IMO. You should have a budget and spend the same amount on each child.

Answer

No it’s not a popularity contest. Your children are your children. I felt terrible reading this.

Answer

Spend same amount of money, maybe more on the older kid who can appreciate things, number of items shouldn't matter but it might to a 9 year old kid.

Answer

I dont think it’s necessarily the amount of gifts that matter, it’s how much you spend and what you get. Because what makes one child happy is different than another child especially if they’re different ages. And by the amount you spend I mean like don’t get one child noticeably cheaper gifts while the other gets expensive nicer ones if that makes sense 🤔

Answer

I have four kids, so typically my main concern is keeping it even; present wise, not so much as money wise because they all have their own tastes and some of their tastes are fairly simple, and some are more expensive. Plus, if I get one kid a pair of shoes, they're all getting shoes! No matter what, when I shop for them, I will buy them each a present. One present might be more than the others, but atleast I know the other gifts are something that I know the other kids will really truly love regardless. But one kid doesn't end up with 10 gifts while the others end up with only 2-3 presents. Plus, I like to buy gifts that all four of them can share. Like this year, we're buying them a laser gun set that comes with four laser guns that they can all enjoy and then I'm filling a box with all kinds of art supplies that they can all utilize on Family Art night. That's a thing for us, because we all love art! Atleast once to twice each month, we all get together on a Friday night and make art! So that's another thing I like to do for my kids. And with your step son, I'm sure he would appreciate some smaller gifts too. Ear buds, snacks, gloves, hats, school supplies, key chains, posters, and candy. I mean, since you seem to be in the mood for spoiling them, you can probably buy enough small items to kinda make sure they get an even amount of gifts.

Answer

You should at least spend the same amount of money for both of them. 
And when people get older, they generally want bigger, more expensive things. So why you may get your younger kid many cheaper gifts, your stepson will get less physically but in regards to value, it can still come to the same price as the other kids gifts. I don't think it should be based on how often he is around.

Answer

It's pretty common that older kids get fewer but more expensive gifts. At least in my experience 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

My parents always had a set amount for each child so the eldest who wanted a laptop had less to open then the youngest who wanted a furbie. It keeps it even and your ss will have presents at his mams which will make up for it, my 'sister' used to go through the catalogues and add up every toy each got and if 50p more was spent on me she'd hit the roof, but she didn't care about amount to open

Answer

As my brother and I got older we understood that, while we may not have the same number of gifts, we got the same amount spent on us. My brother usually wanted a gaming system or something big like that, and I usually wanted a bunch of smaller things. It never caused disputes between us, but we also weren’t step siblings.
As long as there doesn’t already seem to be any animosity between your step son and your son I don’t think it will be an issue. Especially since you can usually tell when little kids toys are on the cheaper side without even saying anything about it.

should the child who lives in my home all the time get more then stepson who is here every other weekend?

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