Husband is being so harsh. 😞😭

What do I do?! I am so incredibly hurt right now. 😞 all over because I forgot to text him and tell him where I was at. He acts like I’m never home and I’ve stopped going over to my parents a lot because I don’t want him to get angry at me. 😔 am I doing something wrong?! 😭😭 (I said like most women which was meant around our area because a lot of the women are known for cheating and getting around) (we live in a very small town)

*UPDATE*

I’ve asked him multiple times to go to individual and couples counseling and he said “no professional is going to make me think differently about anything”

*UPDATE**

It’s hard to leave when my daughter is attached to him and the twins (my step kids. All of them are 5) and I love my step kids so much. It hurts my heart to even think of leaving them and splitting the kids apart. 😔

UPDATE***

I’m going to be giving him an ultimatum. If he will not go to counseling or AT LEAST change and stop treating me like this I’m going to leave. I’m not even sure if he would care? I guess we will see. And I’m going to be doing this after I find a place to stay so I can have everything in order if he does kick me out for standing up for myself. He has done a complete 180 since we’ve been married and not in a good way. There is a lot more mean things that have been said and done but I won’t go into detail...I have changed since I’ve met him in a good way the only mean thing I have ever called or said to him was that he’s an asshole and I have never yelled at him. We have been together for coming up on 2 years in January but have only been married for going on 7 months. He says his past relationships have made him the way he is, but I know that is still no excuse to treat a human being especially your wife like this. I’m just exhausted mentally and emotionally. 😔 it’s also super embarrassing to get a divorce in a small town after 7 months. 😞 I’m not just one to give up on a relationship especially a marriage so it makes me feel guilty but there is only so much I can take for my own sanity and mental health.

UPDATE****

I want to thank all of you wonderful lady’s for opening up my eyes. After realizing what he has been doing to me my feelings for him are diminishing and everything he does or says I pay attention to more...it’s hurts because I love him so much but I cannot stand getting treated like this. I have watched my dad do this to my mom still to this day and it’s heartbreaking. I guess I just didn’t realize it was happening to me because I would try to forget about those bad parts and focus on the good. He has been being super sweet like normal until something I do sets him off and I can tell he is trying to reel me back in. I’ve been reading a lot about it online (apparently this is called the “honeymoon” stage) and I am also wanting to go to counseling. I am going to have someone there when I give him an ultimatum because I’m actually frightened that it might turn into something more than just verbal (even though he says he would never hit a woman but just to protect me it’s going to happen) and I will not have my daughter there either I will have my parents watch her while it happens. Another thing I’m worried about is him taking my only vehicle away as it is under his and my name. Is there anyway I can get the title in just my name without him knowing? And I’m looking for a place to stay as well in the process of this all so me and my daughter have somewhere to go (and no we do not have any woman’s shelters around us besides in big cities which is an hour away and I still need to travel to my job which would make it almost 2) so It’s either he agrees to go to counseling or change and stop treating me like this or I leave and hopefully it will make him see what he has lost because of his behavior. Im also wondering if I should talk to his parents about all of this?

I really thought I could help fix himself. 😔

UPDATE*****

So I’ve been calling around for apartments and such. No luck yet and it’s even harder with having a dog. 😒❤️ he got into an argument with me last night about something so stupid. I told him what was on my mind. He keeps saying he’s sorry for being mean but I look past it because I want actions not words so it doesn’t even phase me when he says it I just roll my eyes. 🙄 I’m completely over his attitude and everything else..I went to use his phone for hotspot to update my phone and found out he had changed his passcode on it he wouldn’t tell me what it was when I asked he just unlocked it for me and gave it to me so I gave it back to him and told him I didn’t even want it to use it anymore. 🖕🏼and he always accuses me of cheating on him, saying stuff like “well maybe you should ask kris out for dinner, since you are texting him while I’m here.” (And no we were not at dinner, we were actually sitting on the couch and I wanted to double date with my best friend but I know he purposely said no at last min) (He is my ex and my daughters father and we only talk about her and he also works out of state. Yet he talks to his ex (he has kids with) basically almost everyday and it’s not always about the kids) and he always says when he gets angry “well looks like your boyfriend can stay a little longer since I’m working over” when I have never given him any reason not to trust me. 🤷🏼‍♀️ he’s a VERY jealous person. Just recently after we got married he will get extremely mad if I talk to another male (normal conversation while in line or at a gas station or anywhere regardless) I wanted to go work out at the gym and get a personal trainer and the only ones we have at our gym are male so he wouldn’t let me do that because he’s scared It would escalate into something else. He also doesn’t like me going to concerts (which I ask him to go with and he declines) because he’s scared I’m going to leave him or hook up with someone else. He deleted pictures of a country music artist and videos off my phone from the concert because (I don’t need other men on my phone besides him) he has broke my phone because he seen I was following a guy on an app from a long time ago. He takes my phone away from me whenever I’m on it and not paying attention to him. He has taken my phone, truck, and his Jeep keys so I could not leave the house with my daughter there or call anyone. I told him I was leaving once (the house) and he did this and told me “no you’re not leaving” He wants me to quit my job and stay home so as he says “so I can have you in the palm of my hand” and he threatens me with divorce, moving back to my parents, and taking the kids away from me if I don’t get a better job he says these things to me because “it puts me back in my place and straightens me up” (his kids and he knows they mean just as much to me as my own child) he always gets angry when things don’t go the way he plans or how he wants them to. He dumps thousands into his “race truck” and lashes out at me when he doesn’t have enough money and telling me “I’m the root of all of his problems” he also told me if he were to choose between me and his truck he would choose his truck over me. He’s also left my vehicle on Empty on purpose so I’ll run out of gas and be late to wherever I’m going (to the concert mentioned above) I honestly believe this man is bi-polar. Seriously wish he would just get the help he needs. The only thing he’s ever been diagnosed with is ADHD.

I never noticed all of the stuff he has done to me until I have wrote it down and actually sat and thought about how abusive it is. It’s true that when you are the one going through the abuse you don’t see/think clearly and people on the outside do not understand why you are being so “stupid” and not leaving him, it’s hard. We think it’s normal or we make ourselves think it’s normal. So do not ever bash or talk dirt to a woman that is in an abusive relationship because you have no idea what she is going through behind closed doors. I want to make a support group on her for women in mentally,emotionally and verbally abusive relationships. Just to talk and get through it together.

I want to thank all of the sweet, kind women on here that have lifted me up and given me advice and helped me see clearly. ❤️

OH, and to the woman about the title to my truck I currently can’t get to it because it’s in a safe and I don’t have the key or passcode to it so I’ll have to ask him for it if he gives it to me and what do I say to him on why I need it? Because he’s going to ask.

UPDATE*****

So, I talked to him. He admitted that he says hurtful things when he is angry, irritated or when things don’t go his way. He said he just needs to be happy with me and grateful for what he does have in life. He said he was sorry and he agreed to change. I told him if he does or says one more hurtful thing again then I’m going to leave and he said that’s not going to happen because he’s not going to. (We will see) he looked upset when I told him I was unhappy and and my feelings were diminishing because of his behavior. Only time will tell, for now I’m happy he admitted everything and has agreed to change. But I have to remember actions speak louder then words.